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“DOCTOR, WHO CARES?” (A Fantasy, Part 1) - weekly poem

“DOCTOR, WHO CARES?” (A Fantasy, Part 1)

Some Feminists are rejoicing that the 13th 'Dr Who'
will be a woman as, with their limited perspective,
they view this trifle as a revolutionary breakthrough.

The new Dr Who is a woman!
Or in sexist parlance, 'a gal';
He's now been transgendered,
His cojones dismembered,
He is, chaps, no longer a male!
The trend could have repercussions,
Will actors adopt the new creed?
A musical play,
About Mrs May,
Could star Brian May in the lead! (1)

A brand new production on Hitler,
That's filmed at his Berlin retreat;
Might feature Miss Rudd, (2)
As the failed Nazi dud,
Bunkering down in defeat.
Could Ann Widdecombe play a Dalek?
Or a male space-monster instead?
And could Catholics cope,
If she plays the Pope,
With nun Tony Blair in 'theys' bed?! (3)

These follies are feasible if,
Non-binary gender holds sway; (4)
With some men in drag,
Wayne Rooney a WAG,
And Prince Charles, the Queen of the May!
This is the most faux revolution,
Since Tsarism's Petrograd fell;
But for minds that ain't small,
It's a load of old ball,
And a load of old 'ballcocks' as well!

(1) Queen guitarist.

(2) Amber Rudd, home secretary.

(3) The latest Feminist fad is for woman to self-identify as being
of 'non-binary gender', i.e. something other than a man or
woman who insist others refer to them as 'they' rather than 'she'.

(4) If, according to Feminists, gender is ‘non-binary’ then
it is a spectrum applicable to the entire human species.

© Richard Layton


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